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IFEATU'S BUS CHRONICLES: A WET DAY AND A SCOOP OF MORNING MADNESS

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Monday mornings are a mixture of madness and warmth in Lagos.

I can't say why I always see the good in the bad but I love to keep an open mind about things. Amidst the mad rush on such days, you are likely to bump into familiar faces and meet strangers that become familiar with time and more. 

Today, I woke up energetic. I am making mental notes of what to do for the day asides what I had scribbled down in my blue diary. Yes, I love the colour blue. Everyone who knows me knows that. 

The young man by my right is sleeping. He is probably exhausted, he is carrying a heavy bag. Perhaps he is one of those guys who creep into Lagos for business at the Balogun Market in Lagos Island. 

There are two youngsters by my left - 'an up and about town guy' and a young lady. They are both dressed in jeans, most likely students or interns. I could be wrong but the unwritten law says business clothes are for Mondays. 

I peek through the rearview mirror of the car. The driver has a smile on his face.  He always does, I think it's impressing to have a smiling soldier as your driver. There was something unexplainably safe about it. 

Orile.....

My eyes are tired from straining at the sight of the awakening road. People are showing up in numbers at major bus stops.  My eyelids close to binge on a nap... They flutter abruptly. 

"Yeeeee! E no go better for you" A lady in her forties lay on the road, her bike rider a step away from her and the bike in between the laps of the bike rider. It took the aid of two other young men to lift the voluptuous woman who kept raining curses on the bus driver who had caused their fall. They also  help the bike rider while I stare from the rear windshield. 


"Oya, your money" The smile on our military driver's face disappeared. People take on a different facial expression when it comes to money especially in Lagos. 

Could it be why people in this plain often say "Me, I no come look Uche Face?" Maybe...Just maybe. 

The driver doesn't have a conductor. An elderly man dressed in suit is collecting the fares for him. I have seen the man before doing same thing for other military drivers too. Perhaps, his hobby is something related to collecting bus fares. Maybe... just maybe. 

"E never complete o" He rogers as he counts the money again. 

"Our seat pay you complete o" The young man by my left who had been sleeping the whole time says. 

"Count am again" a shrill voice on the second seat says. 

"No! Baba, give everybody their money back make we catch the thief wey never pay" A stout man seated on the front seat counters. 

"Supported! All these young people nowadays no dey trustworthy. See the one wey show for paper yesterday, wey dem call Naira Marley. Na like this e dey start, from clap to dance" An lanky man by the door chips in his solidarity.

"Yes o! From bus fraud to internet fraud," Another 'solidarity soldier' springs up.

Baba proceeds to hand back the money as it was paid and pauses. "I never pay my own o"

"For this kain small money? So, if we give you one million naira, you go use machine count am," The young man by my side says with an air of irritation. 

Another 'small war' erupts. Weapons of irritated and angry words are tossed by the 'bus warriors.'

Baba was the culprit. I am trying hard not to laugh. Scenarios like this happen very often.  On some days, I find them amusing, on other days they are annoying. Today, it was definitely amusing. 

The sky rumbles to signify an impending rainfall.  Will I escape it or not?

Minutes later, I show up at the office wet on a Monday. My team members are trying to make sure that I am fine. I am suddenly grateful I didn't make my hair as I had proposed the previous day. 

I am laughing because on some days, you just have to laugh. I turn on my system and score the match; Ifeatu 4 vs Lagos 0. 


Do you want to read this chronicle more often?





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Comments

  1. Bosco20 May 2019 at 17:30

    Awesome. A beautiful piece elegantly delivered, articulated with a brilliant diction that is practically understood. Nice work

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andrew Ifeatu Jennifer21 May 2019 at 06:25

      Thank you for reading, Bosco. I am glad it suits your reading pleasure.

      Delete

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